So I haven't blogged since last Wednesday and I'll spare you most of the details as I'd have a lot to write from the past 4 days (the title tells it all). Thursday I worked in Alpharetta, which I'll end up doing about 2 days a week now. Work was fine. I had prepared food and brought everything with me I needed to eat. Paleo all the way. Got downtown early to get ready for the big wine event at Ga Aquarium. Arrived and the first thing we did was get a glass of wine. Then off to the food - the food was pretty good and at the beginning I did great. I got beef and grits from Dogwood and didn't eat the grits. I tried to pass on pastas, asked for no buns etc. I did alright in the main ballroom, but then we moved out to the rest of the aquarium. = failure. I ended up having some sweets on my own accord. I tried some lobster bisque and other non-paleo items. I knew when I picked them up what I was doing. I caved. But, I also think that I've learned over the past few weeks that I can make the choice to eat something or not to eat something. I have more will power now. Also, I didn't want my $125 ticket go to waste ;) Regardless, I cheated and I owe burpees. Blargh. Friday I planned to stay in - as you could guess my Friday AM started late and I was in a lot of pain from all that wine. I ate paleo at work for the few hours I went in for. Somehow, I was talked into going almost straight to the Eagles concert. I like the eagles, and I definitely wanted to go, but I really had my heart set on doing Friday’s CF workout and NOT drinking and eating paleo the whole day. Well, the workout didn’t happen. We ended up at Park Tavern where I ate some cheese dip and sushi and had sangria and other drinks. Yes, I felt bad. Yes, I still feel bad. Well, that led into Satuday where I did decent at the tailgate, but I think my drinks Saturday night were sugar packed and I had a bit of this and a bit of that. Well, Sunday AM I woke up feeling like shit. And I mean shit. It was definitely partly because of all the alcohol consumed since Thursday night and I think it was because I reintroduced items back into my diet that hadn’t been there in 2-3 weeks. My body was not happy. I had cramps and just wanted to be sick and pass all this nastiness out of my body. Sunday night I finally was able to eat and didn’t feel as bad as I had so I made a turkey chili with all natural and organic ingredients – not a single processed item. YUM. Woke up this am and had a breakfast of champions. Hardboiled eggs, bacon and a bit of prosciutto. Had a bit of coffee with cinnamon and coconut milk (soy and dairy free). Just finished having a snack of applesauce. For some reason I’m still feeling nauseous. I think my body is still pissed off at me, and it should be.
So, let me focus on what I’ve learned.
1. I’m not as young as I used to be and drinking really tears me up. DUH. Not only that, but sugary drinks really take a toll on me. I made the decision to drink and I can make the decision to not drink.
2. When I put crap in my body after being so good to it for 2-3 weeks, I feel like crap. You are what you eat. Well, I felt awful all day Sunday and I think the stomach pain was mostly from what I had eaten. And again, I made the decision to pick up the food and put it in my mouth. I know I have stronger will power and I need to exercise that.
3. I feel guilty from eating poorly. I’m one of those people that never lets things go. When I would get in trouble, I’d think about it constantly instead of moving on. This is taking a toll on me. I feel guilty and bad, I’m waiting for someone to yell at me and tell me how I’ve screwed up 3 good weeks of work and eating for nothing.
4. …what I’m waiting to learn: eating poorly 1 weekend or 1 day or 1 meal won’t mess up my 3 weeks of good work. (again, this would be because I’m harping on the number on the scale). It’s a number, fine. Surprisingly, my clothes still fit loosely and I haven’t had to go back to those ‘fat jeans’. Regardless, eating poorly over time WILL put me back at a place I have no desire to be at.
Overall, I’m taking it all in stride and I really want to learn from this weekend and my mistakes. I’m trying to listen to how my body feels and react accordingly. I’m nervous that my fall back could haunt me and that I’ve given myself the green light that it’s okay for just a small cheat. Right now the goal is to get through the 30 day challenge, and then adapt afterwards. I think another thing I’m worried about is my upcoming trip to NY this weekend for my birthday. I want to have the best pastas, bread, bagels, seafood, pizzas, deserts etc. It’s my birthday, why not. Well, I know how I feel when I eat poorly and I don’t think I can go all out. I want to enjoy myself, and I plan to, but I will definitely make the smartest decisions possible (I do know I’ll be drinking wine, but I plan to stay away from beer and sugary drinks).
The one thing I’ve learned from the challenge so far is that I have the decision to eat healthy and to disregard unhealthy food in front of me. I’ve proven that to myself and I plan to adapt it in NY. Also, I want to set myself up for success and not failure as I don’t plan to be 100% paleo after the challenge ends, I want to find a good medium that works for me, but I do see myself staying very close to the paleo diet as the food is pretty tasty and I feel good on it.
Thanks for sticking through this long rant of feelings and thoughts. Although I find this weekend as an overall negative and failure to the challenge, I realized what I’ve learned about myself and the diet.
--- On another Debbie downer note, I pulled a neck muscle yesterday in kickball (yes, kickball), and now my neck is really sore and stiff – definitely not what I needed before going to NY. I wanted a week of good workouts. So, if anyone has any suggestions on quick remedies or workouts that I can possibly do, please send them my way. J
PS – I’ll try and post the turkey chili recipe later too. It’s great for leftovers (my lunch today!)